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Feelings Most Frequently Experienced Following A Sexual Assault

Fear

of being alone and/or of being in crowds

of rapist returning

of places, people, things that remind survivor of the assault

of others finding out and what they will think

of men in general

of having to report the assault or go to court

of one's children being assaulted

of one's own rage

of going to sleep (recurring nightmares)

of being pregnant

of getting STD's or AIDS

of being intimate again

of going crazy

Shame, Embarrassment

feel "dirty", "despoiled", "humiliated"

feel everyone can tell by looking at her

Powerlessness and Depression

feel she has lost all control over her body and her life

feel it will never get better

feel victimized by the assault and/or by being a woman in this society

Emotional Shock

feeling numb and/or feeling calm

not being able to cry

Re-triggering

having flashbacks

wishing the flashbacks would stop

Denial

wasn't it "just" rape?

Guilt

for having "caused the rape"

for not resisting more; for resisting too much

for being "stupid" enough to get into that situation

for all the reactions she is having

for not being able to nurture others at this time

for having "engaged in sex" (cultural/religious implications)

Anger

at herself for "letting it happen"

at her significant others for not understanding or not protecting her

at society and the system

at the assailant - may want to kill, castrate, or humiliate him

at the total disruption of her life

Betrayal

by assailant, if someone she trusted, however briefly, and/or by God

by reactions of significant others and/or society and the system

Lack of Trust

of her own ability to make judgments

of men in general

Disbelief

did it really happen?

why did it happen to me?

Disorientation

not being able to sit still

having trouble getting through the day

feeling overwhelmed

Many of these reactions are experienced by those who are assaulted, raped, or sexually abused in some way. Each survivor's reaction over the weeks and months after the assault will be unique. It is essential that the survivor accept these reactions and not be self-critical while dealing with his or her emotions.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

— Margaret Mead

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