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Support for Transgender People


 

IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX!

Sex requires your consent. Rape and sexual assault are violent crimes and are motivated by anger, hatred, and aggression. Being forced to have unprotected sex or to engage in more sexual activity than you had wanted also constitutes rape or sexual assault. Both men and women can commit rape and sexual assault against both men and women.

Sexual assault is not motivated by sexual attraction. It is predominantly an act of violence. Commonly, victims are chosen for their perceived vulnerability to attack rather than how sexually appealing the perpetrator found them.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone, regardless of physical appearance, sexual orientation, or lifestyle. Sexual assaults are violent crimes used to exert power, to humiliate, and to control.

YOU HAVE SURVIVED!

Rape and sexual assault can be life-threatening situations. Whether or not a weapon was used, you probably were very scared. You may have cooperated in order to get out alive. This does not mean you consented. Sometimes you have to cooperate to save your life. Rape and sexual assault are never your fault!

IF THE ATTACKER IS A MAN

According to a study released by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, in terms of hate motivated violence, 82% of the perpetrators are male. Transgender females are at a higher risk of victimization then transgender males people. In the same study, 3% of victims identified as bisexual while 79% identified as lesbian/gay and 11% identified as heterosexual. (Please see the study Anti-lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Violence in 2004, a report of the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs for more information. www.cuav.org).

Homophobia and transphobia put LGBTQ people at a greater risk for violence. Sexual violence is commonly used by perpetrators as a way to punish and humiliate someone for being LGBTQ. Sexual assault is often one of the forms of violence that occur during an anti-LGBTQ battering. This may be the case if a person who is not part of the LGBTQ community sexually assaults a person who identifies as LGBTQ.

Just as within heterosexual dating, people who are part of the LGBTQ community are at risk of acquaintance or date rape. Sexual assaults that occur in the context of dating relationships or where the attacker is known by the victim in some way do occur. These attacks are also motivated by power and control rather than sexual attraction.

IF THE ATTACKER IS A WOMAN

Women can commit acts of sexual violence. Rape and sexual assault can happen with a woman you just met or with someone you feel close to. It is not talked about much, but it happens. It can be very hard to seek help when a woman is the attacker. It can be hard to tell someone about it and break the silence. You may feel surprised and shocked that a woman could do these things. This can also make you feel like you shouldn't get help because you are second guessing yourself or because of the mistaken belief that women cannot sexually assault men or that women cannot commit acts of sexual assault against each other.

Rape and sexual assault are violent crimes. Neither your sexual orientation nor the gender nor biological sex of your attacker changes that. 

SOME COMMON REACTIONS:

Rape and sexual assault are traumatic experiences. Following an attack, you may have physical pain, injuries, and strong emotional reactions. Below are some of the reactions you may experience.

  • Changes in your body, health, or appetite; overeating or not eating properly; feeling dirty
  • Depression or anxiety; feeling down, jittery, or on edge; snapping at others
  • Fear; avoiding crowds or leaving home; being frightened it will happen again
  • Anger; feeling violated (both personally and politically); having thoughts of revenge
  • Guilt, shame, or embarrassment; feeling like you deserved it; feeling like you can't tell anyone
  • Flashbacks or nightmares; including feeling like you should have done more to fight back
  • Denial; feeling unsure of what happened to you; feeling like you must be over-reacting
  • Changes in your sex life; losing interest in sex or having a lot of dangerous sex; difficulty having sex
  • Isolation and betrayal; feeling alone and separate from your partner, friends, family, and other women

Partners, family, and close friends who are aware of what happened to you may also experience some of these changes.

Barriers to seeking services:

There are many reasons a survivor of sexual assault or abuse may not seek services or leave an abusive situation. Sexual assault is often underreported and may be more so within the transgender community. Some barriers to service include:

  • Fears of facing prejudices and discriminations
  • Inability to remain anonymous due to the small LGBTQ community in SLO County and in many other areas.
  • Fear of being accused of betraying the LGBTQ community. A survivor may feel caught between the denial of the crime from the LGBTQ community and the prejudice from society.
  • Fear of not being believed, taken seriously, or having the experienced minimized due to the myth that rape cannot happen in same gender relationships. Rape and sexual violence due occur within same gender relationships.
  • Having to educate the service provider on LGBTQ issues.
  • Having the experience sensationalized
  • Being blamed for the assault
  • Mistakenly seen as the perpetrator.

How do I help as a friend or as a partner?

  • Believe your friend or partner about the sexual assault
  • Respect the need for confidentiality
  • Avoid judgmental comments
  • Seek help for your own feeling of anger or frustration
  • Ask how you can help rather than give unsolicited advise
  • Respect her or his decision even if it differs from what you want
  • Be a good listener
  • Offer unconditional love and support
  • Avoid pressure to resume any form of sexual intimacy until initiated by the survivor

 

What is homophobia?

  • The fear or hatred of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
  • The fear of being perceived as lesbian, gay or bisexual.
  • The fear of one’s own sexual or physical attraction towards members of the same sex (which is referred to as internalized homophobia).

What is heterosexism?

  • The system of oppression of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual which general includes three components
    • The assumption that all people are heterosexual
    • Prejudice and discrimination against people who are LGBT based on the assumption that heterosexuality is the only “normal” sexual orientation and therefore preferable and superior.
    • Systemic display of homophobia is societal institutions, laws, and policies by excluding the needs, concerns and life experiences of people who are LGBT.
  • Examples of heterosexism
    • Assuming everyone has or is interested in having an opposite sex partner.
    • Assuming all children live in families with one male and one female parent
    • Using language that presumes heterosexuality such as husband or wife instead of gender neutral language such as partner.

 

 

The SARP Center services:

The Sexual Assault Recovery and Prevention Center supports all survivors of sexual assault with an effort to be sensitive to issues of gender and sexual orientation.

 

Support and Resources for LGBTQ Community:

NYC Anti-Violence Project
www.avp.org
Hotline - (212) 714-1141

Victims of Crime National Center
(800) 211-7996

National Gay and Lesbian Hotline                                                                     (888) 843-4564

 

San Luis Obispo County Resources:

Sexual Assault Recovery and Prevention Center                      
(805) 545-8888 - 24-hour Hotline

Victim Witness Assistance Center
(805) 781-5821

Gay and Lesbian Alliance (GALA)                                         www.ccgala.org                              
(805) 541-4252

Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)          www.pflag.org                                
(805) 438-3889

Pride Alliance: LGBT Center at Cal Poly                                www.pride.calpoly.edu                
(805) 756-7733

TranzCentralCoast                                                                   www.tranzcentralcoast.com

 

 

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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

— Margaret Mead

 

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